It's no secret

So, there's all this stuff no one talks about but everyone knows. For instance, I've gained more weight than I ever thought possible and none of my shit fits me. I know. When I untag myself in the facebook photo, you know that too. Instead of incessantly retagging me, as if I made some mistake, just let it be. I am a pretty confident person, but lately my lack of self control and abundance of cellulite have gotten the best of me. This is not a cry for help or a ploy for people to say nice things, just quit trying to act like I'm the same size I was 3 years ago. I am not in denial and will promptly untag that shit.

Another thing that people seem to be ignoring is that I bring up my homelife like a Debbie Downer. I do it because it's funny. I don't feel bad for myself and wouldn't want you to, either. I do it so you can laugh at my expense when I open the opportunity up to you. Not everyone you meet has so many painfully funny details to their life and I will be the first to admit that some of what happens in my life is sad. Lots of things go on that make me very upset, but I can't be that person who sits and waxes existential every time a friend goes hyper religious or a family member has a mental meltdown. I only have this life and I will attempt to find the only good aspects of even the worst situations (which usually means that i will add the humor to my repertoire)

Third, I vent on the internet. Internet Erin is one extreme of myself. I don't think that passive aggressive tweets are going to fix anything, hence the passiveness of the whole act.

Oh, and I'm on the fence about divinity. This doesn't mean I'm an atheist. This does mean that I will probably refuse to come to your evangelical praise rituals. Those things distract from what I need : proof of something, a loving and all-knowing something. No amount of singing and strumming a guitar confirms some magical love, especially when these same people can be such judgmental, selfish and prudish folk on any day but Sunday. I don't like your stupid t-shirts, they make me want to be an atheist. Quit asserting that your yearly trips to exotic locations like Spain and Ecuador are 100% motivated by the love of Christ. Missionary work should ideally be to those who aren't already living in a devoutly Catholic nation, assholes. Africa needs help, too. That doesn't mean they need God. They need rain and civil rights first.

If you can be a kind person and not automatically assume the rightness or your own denomination, then I'm interested. At testament to Christ who doesn't see me as a heathen for my tastes and opinions is far more effective than some evangelical guitar strumming fundamentalist machine.

I feel like a 15 year old right now but I am hopped up on Nyquil and rage.